September 09, 2005


Nate and I planned on hanging out all day long, but he called and seemed upset. I think his parents know that something's up. So, I have been waiting for him to call. It's 7:30 pm. Liz called and I told her I was waiting for a call. I hung up with her and found that Nate had called while I was on with Liz. He told me to call him at Angies at 8:30. So, now, I'm waiting yet another hour or so to even talk to him. Is this really worth it? We told each other our thoughts last night, and he held my hand and kissed me. I forgot where I was. I forgot who I was. Yet, for a moment I knew everything, I could see clearly. I didn't want that moment to end... but it did, and now I miss it.


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Hi, I should be studying for finals, but I am reading your online journal entries!! I am trying to find out more about Mormonism, as two very attractive young missionaries have been coming by, trying to get me to join their church. I am hot for them, especially the blonde boy, they are probably both early twenties. I haven't told them my sexuality yet, I am trying to figure out if they are interested in me, or just get me for the church. I have been exclusively gay ever since fooling around with a guy in high school at 17. OK, once when I was in the Coast Guard I was persuaded to get with a female hooker, she set a timer, and the bell went off before I did!! Not worth the $50 investment!! I was then "in" with my sailor buddies, little did they know I would have rather romped with a few of them!! Is the church very anti-gay, or are they becoming more accepting as it is becoming more apparent to society that "we are everywhere" and have families, and are just like everyone else, not some demons or monsters. The missionaries, out here in California for two years spreading the word, told me they can't have girlfriends until they get back to Utah!! Any guy in his early twenties or late teens is at his sexual prime, gay or straight, how does the church honestly expect one to go two years without sex, or are they gay??? Any insight would be helpful, do I come clean with these guys, I suppose I should, before I make any commitments, perhaps I will get lucky with blonde!!?? Good Luck to you!! Love, Jon

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