September 09, 2005

6/11/99

Nate and I planned on hanging out all day long, but he called and seemed upset. I think his parents know that something's up. So, I have been waiting for him to call. It's 7:30 pm. Liz called and I told her I was waiting for a call. I hung up with her and found that Nate had called while I was on with Liz. He told me to call him at Angies at 8:30. So, now, I'm waiting yet another hour or so to even talk to him. Is this really worth it? We told each other our thoughts last night, and he held my hand and kissed me. I forgot where I was. I forgot who I was. Yet, for a moment I knew everything, I could see clearly. I didn't want that moment to end... but it did, and now I miss it.

September 08, 2005

Nate (not just another guy) 6/4/99

I had a crush on him as soon as I saw him. I wasn't sure if he was gay, but I had a feeling he might be. Laci T*** introduced us, It's almost as if fate had something to do with it as well. Nate called that night (6/4) and told me he was gay. I told him the same thing. We chatted for a moment, and we gave each other our phone #'s saying "if you ever need to talk, or (want to) do something to call." He called me the next day and we hung out and talked. As of today (6/9/99) we haven't had any sexual contact. No touch at all. I don't mind.

Is it possible to love a man? Yes! Is it wrong? Who's to say?

I am in love, moreso than anyone else. How can these feelings be from Satan? I am really confused. For the first time in my life I am truly happy.

So what if I've only known him five days! I feel like it's been five years. I don't know how or what he feels for me, but I hope he tells me soon.